After a long week full of sick kids, 40 hours at work and a minor illness of my own, I was ready to let my hair down and drink the pain away last night. Details are sketchy but here is what I do know. Most were retold to make sure I was truly shamed. Mission accomplished. Timeline of events follows....
7:15pm-Neighbor calls to inform me our husbands got completely trashed playing his new beer pong game. Go next door to retrieve completely intoxicated hubby.
7:20pm-I am roped into playing beer pong. I have already been drinking so probably not my best decision. Male neighbor goes to bed.
7:30pm-Quit beer pong because I am not a good player which equals I will be drinking. A lot.
8:30pm-Order food for delivery from local pizza and sandwich shop. Leave with neighbor to go pick up her son from a middle school dance.
8:40pm-Leave my beer in her car to go into school. Watch kids dance and even dance with my neighbor to the Black-Eyed Peas, Let's Get it Started. Luckily her son sees none of this.
9:00pm-Tease neighbor's son relentlessly over his slow dance with his girlfriend. Neither of them would look at each other when they were dancing. Awwwwww......
9:10pm-Back home and food is here. First I have to go put hubby to bed.
9:30pm-Food is eaten and we start doing vodka shots. I have already drank about 12 beers. NOT my best decision.
10:00pm-Someone calls Sam's cellphone. A woman is asking for him but won't tell me who it is. She hangs up and when I try to call her back she won't answer. I finally figure out it is our other neighbors so I run to get my cellphone so I can call her partner. She answers and they are drinking too.
10:05pm-Why not combine our parties? We jump in the car to drive one street over and crash their house. I give my neighbor a tour of their house before I even introduce them ; )
10:20pm-Stagger down the road with Jen while Amy and their company all cram into neighbor's car for the ride back.
*The following events will be told from other people's points of view and not my own. I can neither confirm or deny there validity but I can guarantee they are embellishing or flat-out lying.
10:30pm-I try and open the refrigerator to get another beer but the door won't open with my weight against it. So I slide down to the floor and pass out on it.
10:31pm-Neighbor comes back down to the garage after being a responsible parent and checking on the kids to find me passed out on her floor in front of the refrigerator with a garage full of people she has known for 21 minutes. Hee hee.
10:35pm-Neighbor and Amy drag me upstairs to neighbor's son's bed. I freak out because Sam is home passed out but neighbor assures me kids are fine and will sleepover as well.
10:40pm-Neighbor takes my keys and, with Jen, goes to tell Sam of my unfortunate demise. Sam is woken to two women in his bedroom. It totally does not matter to him that one of them doesn't like guys. I am sure he will remember that awakening forever. He comes back over to neighbor's house to hang out with her since he knows at least two of the people at her house that she doesn't.
10:40pm-4:30am-No real clue what is happening since I am passed out. Apparently I got up at some point because I wake up on the floor of neighbor's daughter's room.
4:40am-Sam and neighbor find me on my knees on floor with hands outstretched wailing because I can't find the girls. They are puzzled by two things. One, how did I wind up in the daughter's room and two, why am I wet? I am curious about this as well. Did I spill something, I ask? No, there is nothing laying around on the floor. Yep, I peed myself on the floor of their daughter's room.
5:00am-Neighbor's husband is up and we all say good night/morning.
12:00pm-Neighbor's are back and want to know when I am going to clean the floor. And ask if I am ready to go to a cook-out at their friends house. I love my neighborhood.
1 comment:
wowwwwwwww I think you almost have me beat on drunken ridiculousness...good show!
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