Bet you thought I was gone for good

As if I have anyone left wondering about me : ) Life has been very hectic for the last year. Since starting my 'new' job a year ago I have traveled to Minneapolis, Denver, Los Angeles, Dallas, Iowa, Ohio, Boise, Seattle, Orlando, and Salt Lake City. I travel about once a month and am getting ready to go to Montana and Los Angeles next month. Add in a child with special education needs and being homeroom mom for the other child and I have had no extra time.

We drove to Missouri in December to visit my mom and grandfather. It was almost 17 hours in the car one way and we hit bad weather both ways. Thinking of doing it again next month due to the outrageous costs of flying four of us and renting a car once there.

I have been trying to get back into shape since I broke my ankle last spring. I was finally able to get back on the treadmill almost pain-free in November and the pain died down in December.

Today is my kid's last day of school. They are very excited for summer but I am not so excited. Now we have to pay for summer camp. My son is officially a high schooler and that scares the heck out of me.

So that is a bit of a catch-up if anyone wondered what happened to me. Hopefully I can get back more than once a year.

Swiped from Brad Pitt

I couldn't have put it more perfectly. This is from an article in Parade. It sums up my feelings exactly without being all wordy as I normally am.

“It’s ridiculous that Prop 8 took away gay people’s right to marry! I have no understanding of that kind of hatred. Maybe it’s fear of difference or of the unknown. If you feel belittled, maybe you need someone else to belittle to feel powerful. It’s the only way I know how to explain it. You’ve got religion telling you what to think about homosexuality, about marriage. They say homosexuality is a choice, a lifestyle, something you can be cured of, and that isn’t true. But if you’re tucked away and have no friends who are gay, you’ll believe what the preachers say. Just think of it in terms of being in love–how would you feel if someone told you that you couldn’t be with the person you loved?”

Isn't that what this is all about? Bullies taking out their feelings of inferiority on others? I have explained this to my son a thousand times when he struggled to understand why someone can hate him for no reason.

It sickens me that people can be discriminated against because they are outside of someone else's comfort zone. They justify it by saying it is the law or the bible says it isn't right. I think it is pure ignorance and stupidity but I truly believe people can change and evolve with awareness. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and adhere to the Golden Rule. The truly absurd thing is that everyone knows someone who is gay but they probably haven't been told because of their narrow mind.

I can't change everyone's minds but I know that by speaking out loud instead of keeping quiet it will make a difference. Racism and discrimination feed off silence. The mentality is that if we don't really say it out loud then it doesn't exist. That is all changing now. The chatter started as a whisper and I hear it getting louder.

Testing 1, 2, 3

I am testing my new BlackBerry and making sure I have everything set back up right. Gonna figure this out for when I start traveling next month.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Back in the land of the living

I know I have explained my absence in a few past posts so I won't rehash the negativity. Suffice it to say I have been severely underemployed for several months and going further and further down the financial ruin drain. It has been very stressful but hopefully we are putting all of that behind us and moving forward.

What else has been going on? My kids had their birthdays last month. Son turned 13 and is quite the obnoxious teenager. Typical you-don't-know-shit-so-I'm-not-doing-a-thing-you-tell-me-to/not to. Daughter turned 7 and seems to have found her attitude with it. Parenting is a challenge and I expect my just rewards wherever I wind up after I kick the bucket.

I broke my ankle in April and had a cast for 6 weeks. Those were the worst 6 weeks of my life. I am not completely 100% with mobility (seems I have developed a pronounced limp) but it is getting a little better every day.

After six months of underemployment, I finally got a J-O-B!!! I am making about $6k less a year than I was at my last job but it is with the federal government so I get all the federal benefits and leave plans which are awesome. It is not in HR so I have basically made a career change which is a bit scary but also very exciting. I will be traveling quite a bit since I am supporting the Pacific/Northwest and Upper Midwest regions of the US so that is a huge perk ; )

Hopefully I will be back to posting something at least once a week as I regain my humor and the black clouds lift off my shoulders. Until then.....

My Greatest Hits List

I'm not too ashamed to say I have been taking some time off lately to get my priorities back in order. Job hunting, school, a child with Aspergers and now a broken ankle have taken the majority of my attention for the last few months. I have tried to keep up with my favorite blogs to keep me centered but haven't felt the need to post anything of my own.

However, my favorite blogger Heather wrote yesterday about her greatest accomplishments and memories and requested her peeps post their own. It made me pause because it seems a bit self-serving to post this when I haven't posted anything in a long time but then I decided to go for it since I have been kind of down lately. Focusing on the positive and all that. So without further ado, here are my top 5 greatest accomplishments and memories.

Finishing my Bachelor's degree after almost 10 years of part-time school. Many times it seemed impossible with two kids, a husband and career so walking across the stage at George Mason University in June 2006 was a dream come true. I even graduated with honors (magna cum laude).

Losing 75 pounds after high school to be able to join the Army. I could not figure out a way to leave Missouri without joining the Army so I had to lose the pounds.

Reconnecting with old friends from Missouri on Facebook. When I left I swore I would never turn back and give anyone the time of day but have found it very healing to catch up with old friends and not lump everyone into the bad memories.

Learning to develop and stand up for my own thoughts and opinions. When I was younger I sort of absorbed other's thoughts and opinions on issues (religion, politics, etc.) but now I try and learn about issues before forming an opinion. Once I do, I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in.

Visiting Puerto Rico for the first time. Growing up in a land locked state, I always dreamed of visiting a tropical island. It was awe-inspiring for me and I don't think I could ever be bored. Just looking at the horizon over the ocean is enough for me.

So there you have it. I am sure there are plenty more but I am trying to rally my spirits. For the first time in months I finally have an interview on Wednesday. I am going to have to fight the temptation to cry and beg them for the job because I need it very badly.

Dropping off the side of the flat earth

It's been so long since I updated that I almost forgot I had a blog. I log in periodically to check the blogs I follow but failed to remember the real reason I set up this account. I have no excuses for not blogging other than I really have had nothing to say. Nothing witty, nothing laughable.

Sometimes life throws you such hard curveballs that by the time you recover your breath, you realize that you have nothing to say. Maybe you realize that what you were saying pre-curveball was just dribble and of no importance so you tell yourself to shut up and sit down.

I still have not found a full-time job and am still temping. Money has been stretched thinner than taffy at the shore and still there isn't enough. I refuse to post a 'woe-is-me' post when so many other people are struggling harder so I won't.

I did want to come and say sorry for the lack of posting but, most of all, the lack of comments when I read your blogs. My voice has been silent but I have been keeping up. Know that your blogs keep me grounded and throw me a rope when I feel like I am drowning. Hopefully I will get over this and get back here soon. Most of all, I hope my life returns to some sense of normalcy very soon.

Disappointed

I thought I would feel like a million bucks if the day came where Obama was elected President. From the start it seemed impossible. His name, skin color and opponents were formidable foes. Yet, somehow, he overcame the odds to win the election with a wide lead in electoral votes and popular vote.

I cried when the announcement came and said to my 12 year old son, "Watch close because this is history" and pumped my fist in celebration when Obama gave his acceptance speech. My son, who deals with his own issues being of mixed race, stared and smiled and had hope for the future. I went to bed with a smile on my face that I thought would take days to erase.

But the next morning would shed light on how far we really haven't come. It started on the usual networking sites. "They are disappointed but know God will show them the way. They want to know why no one (but Fox, go figure) is reporting he is a Muslim." The list goes on and on and as the day progressed, the more disheartened I became. I saw friends rip each other apart in ways they never had during the election. My local newspaper hosts comments on their articles and several nasty comments were made about not being able to call it the "White" House anymore. And then the news started trickling out about the same-sex marriage bans failing to be overturned in at least 4 states and one state now mandating that LGBT couples not be allowed to be able to foster children in their homes.

As my spirit went lower all I could think about was the voters who answered the call for change. We worked so hard during the last several months to spread the word that change was the only way. It was time to rid our government of that good ol' boy mentality and finally get to work. Volunteers dedicated hours of their time to knocking on doors and making phone calls to undecided voters. People never involved in politics in any way dontated their hard earned dollars and struck up dialogues about why we were voting for Obama. All of that work paid off in the end. Right?

The truth is that we are right where we were a week ago. We still have a majority of the population that believes they can decide who has rights and who doesn't. Crazy me for thinking that is what the constitution is for but apparently you are not covered under it unless the people say so. Why are constitutional bans on human rights even on ballots? Shouldn't that be up to the Supreme Court? I don't know about you but I didn't study law in college and I'm pretty sure the majority of the other voters didn't either so I hardly think it is up to us whether to amend the constitution or not.

Change was in the air and I truly believed it was going to happen. I have never been more sad to have been wrong. I thought Americans were finally going to stand up not just for themselves but others who have been ignored for far too long. It is so disappointing to see how far we can go only to take a huge leap back. This is not progress. This is not change.